Second...and Last...Day of School

George was excited for school today.  He did not want me to come into the cafeteria with him at breakfast.  It’s the first time he’s not wanted me there.  I think it is a good sign.  I told him I had to come in with Grace and Alex, but he could go in by himself.  

I took them in and we were early, so it was not very crowded.  I helped Grace and Alex get plates and they got toast and watermelon, and Alex took scrambled eggs.  But the crowds started filing in and it is so chaotic there.  We were greeted by Grace and Alexander’s teachers, but then largely ignored.  I watched George, holding court, completely surrounded by boys competing for his attention.  That was wonderful.  But not so good for Grace.  When it came time for me to leave, Alex said his goodbyes and was pretty OK.  Grace was in tears.  I stayed a bit longer, but she got worse and worse.  Eventually I decided she’d be better if I left, for yesterday she did OK when I wasn’t in the room (I peeked).  So I had to hand her off to a teacher and she started screaming and screaming, “Mommy!!!Mommmmy!!!”  

I walked out and burst into tears.  I tried and tried to call Chris, but the signal was too poor.  So I spoke with a couple teachers (including George’s), and could still hear her screaming, even though she thought I was gone.  So I told my driver I was not leaving yet, and went back in.  She collapsed into my arms, poor baby.  Grace is my little social girl.  She makes friends everywhere we go within moments, but this place was not working for her.  So I told her I wouldn’t leave for a while and went with them to class.  We agreed I’d stay if she was participating, but I would leave after a while.  The class was the same messed up atmosphere as the day before.  5 adults, only one interacting with the children at a time, and a lot of "sit down, stay still, wait."  It was not a warm place.  It was not a kind and loving place.  My children are used to play based school in a loving environment.  This is not what this preschool was.

After about an hour, a teacher took Grace and Alex outside to play in the sandbox.  I left while they were there, and called my mom in tears as I was driven down the mountainside.  I feel terrible for leaving her.  I think it was the wrong choice.  I’m heading back in a few minutes, just 3 hours after leaving her.  And they will not be returning to this school. 

I cried all these three hours.  We paid tuition for the year in advance.  I doubt we’ll get that back.  But they can’t stay there.  I don’t know how I’ll be able to shop and do the things I need to do to survive this expat life in this strange place if they are home with me all day.  And they, especially Grace, need the social life.  So I need to start a search for another school.  I found a promising looking one based in Finland, and there seems to be at least one more, a Waldorf-Steiner school.  They need a play based school, one where they learn through discovery, not being told to sit still and wait.  I am feeling so lost.  But I will make this the happiest possible experience for my kids.  No matter what that means about school.

After a long, and truly grueling day for all, we headed to an expat mall to buy each child a toy and have dinner at an American chain restaurant.  It was with the best intentions, but even this fun was too much for our tired little monkeys.