Date Night

Balu, our kind caretaker, was willing to take care of the kids tonight so Chris and I decided to go out to dinner together.  We got the kids to bed, headed out with our driver to a local place called Club 18. Because we kept him late, we gave him a couple hundred rupees so he could get dinner, then heading upstairs.  Club 18 is pretty close and on the roof top of a tall building.  It's open and beautifully lit, and very Indian.  This means that from the moment you walk in, you are assaulted by very, very loud music.  Also, being white, every head in the place turns to watch you walk by, surprised you are there.  We asked for a 4 top looking over the edge, seats with a view, but were told they would be filled in 5 minutes so we couldn't have them.  That turned out to be code for, "no way are we giving you those seats when there are only 2 of you" as they did not fill for over an hour.  Oh well.  Next time we'll know to call in advance and reserve for 4, then have our friends just not arrive.  

We had a really nice time. It was fun to relax and just spend some time together.  We could even hear each other now and again.  We decided to start with some cocktails.  This was amusing.  Club 18 has a very extensive cocktail menu. Yet when you try to order from it, the waiter tends to have no idea what the drink is, or informs you that that one is not available, or this one neither because it is not legal in India.  They don't seem to understand the question, "then why is it on the menu?"  I ordered a gin and tonic, and got a shot of gin and a glass of tonic, separate.  Same for Chris's rum and coke.  I did get a cocktail that was quite tasty, once I explained what a cosmopolitan was (even though it was on the menu).  So we had cocktails and some tasty dinner, and some time together in relative peace.  Nice.

And on the way out, I had to stop by the toilet.  For a very nice club, I have to say it was one of the nicer toilets I've come across...which, as you can see, is not saying much.  I am learning to always carry toilet paper with me!

 

It's just the picture you want to see at the end of a post, isn't it?!

Children's Day in Honor of Chacha Nehru

India's First Prime Minister, Jawaharlal Nehru

“Children are like buds in a garden and should be carefully nurtured, as they are the future of the nation and the citizens of tomorrow.” –Pt. Jawaharlal Nehru, India’s first Prime Minister after independence.

Every year the 14^th of November is celebrated as “Children’s Day,” as it is the birthday of Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru whose love for children is legendary.  Fondly known as Chacha Nehru (Uncle Nehru), the first Prime Minister of India was worked with fervently for the education and well-being of children, whom he considered the bright future of his beloved nation, India.

Today as Grace and Alexander entered school, every teacher, every didi, every administrator greeted them warmly with, “Happy Children’s Day, this is your day.”  The kids were asked to dress in their nicest clothes.  Because most of our belongings are still somewhere over the Indian ocean (I hope), or perhaps the Atlantic, we do not have their nicest clothes.  So Alexander wore his new traditional Indian clothes, and Grace wore a dress she chose this weekend.  Balu and Sushil, upon seeing Alexander this morning, kissed his hands and told him he was Indian. 

You know when they're tired, they need their bunnies.

When they're nervous or uncomfortable with a situation, they get silly.

When they're really out of sorts, they cling to each other.  They are so lucky to have each other.

Nehru-A Very Brief History

 Jaharwal Nehru was one of the foremost leaders of the Indian freedom struggles and the favorite disciple of Mahatma Gandhi.  He later became the first Prime Minister of India and is widely regarded as the architect of modern India.  Nehru studied law at Trinity College, Cambridge and his 7 years in England, exposed to Irish socialism and Fabian Nationalism, broadened his horizons and inspired his nationalism.

Nehru and Gandhi in 1942

 Nehru returned to India in 1912 and started his law practice.  He married a few years later.  He met Mahatma Gandhi in 1919, after Gandhi had launched a campaign against the Rowlatt Acts, legislation passed by the the Imperial Legislative Council (British India) allowing political cases to be tried without juries and imprisonment without trial. “Nehru was instantly attracted to Gandhi’s commitment for active but peaceful, civil disobedience.  Gandhi himself saw promise and India’s future in the young Jawaharlal Nehru”  (http://www.iloveindia.com/indian-heroes/jawaharlal-nehru.html#dPjP0tet5LYjBpgL.99).

As a leader of the Congress in 1929, Nehru declared his aims for the Indian nation under his leadership.  He called for freedom of religion, freedom of expression and thought, equality before the law for everyone regardless of caste, religion, color or creed, safeguarding the interests of peasants and labor, abolishment of untouchability, protection for regional languages and cultures, and the right to form associations, among others.  From his second term in the Congress onwards, he was given carte blanche in framing the foreign policy of the future India.  During a time when the world was under dire threat of facism, Nehru developed good relationships all over the world, placing India firmly on the side of democracy.

In 1936, Nehru visited Europe and developed a strong interest in Marxism.  He then studied Marxism on his various imprisonments.  Nehru was drawn to the ideals of Marxism, but appalled by some of it’s methods, allowing him to develop his economic ideals adapting Marxism to Indian conditions.  As a strong nationalist, Nehru always stressed commonality of Indians while appreciating regional diversities.

At the start of World War II, Nehru originally supported Britain under conditions of independence after the war.  In October of 1940, Nehru and Gandhi decided to instead launch a limited civil disobedience campaign.  Nehru was sentenced to 4 years in prison and was released three days before the bombing of Pearl Habor in Hawaii.

Many today love Nehru most for his social policies.  He believed education for India’s children and youth was essential for India’s future progress, and was a passionate advocate of education all.  His government oversaw the establishment of many institutions of higher learning.  He sought to guarantee free and compulsory primary education to all of India’s children.  To accomplish this, he oversaw the creation of mass village enrollment programs and the construction of thousands of schools..  Nehru launched initiatives for free milk and meals to children to fight malnutrition.  In rural areas, adult education centers, vocational and technical schools were formed.  Under Nehru, the Indian Parliament criminalized caste discrimination and increased the legal rights and social freedoms of women.  Nehru also championed religious harmony and secularism, increasing the representation of minorities in government. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jawaharlal_Nehru)

Nehru’s inaugural speech given when he became Prime Minister of India upon independence seems a great respresentation of who he was as a man and a leader:

"Long years ago we made a tryst with destiny, and now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge, not wholly or in full measure, but very substantially. At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom. A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends, and when the soul of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance. It is fitting that at this solemn moment we take the pledge of dedication to the service of India and her people and to the still larger cause of humanity." (Wikipedia, Jawaharlal Nehru)

One year later, Mahatma Gandhi, affectionately known a Bapu Gandhi, was assassinated.  Nehru addressed the nation:

“Friends and comrades, the light has gone out of our lives, and there is darkness everywhere, and I do not quite know what to tell you or how to say it. Our beloved leader, Bapu as we called him, the father of the nation, is no more. Perhaps I am wrong to say that; nevertheless, we will not see him again, as we have seen him for these many years, we will not run to him for advice or seek solace from him, and that is a terrible blow, not only for me, but for millions and millions in this country.” (Wikipedia, Jawaharlal Nehru)

Nehru with daughter Indira and his two grandsons, Rajiv and Sanjay

Nehru’s only daughter was Indira Gandhi, the fourth Prime Minister of India and the only female Prime Minister.  Indira Gandhi was PM from 1966-1977, then again from 1980 until her assassination in 1984.  She was the second longest serving Prime Minister after her father.  In 1976, Indira Gandhi was able to fulfill her father’s dream of making India officially a “socialist” and “secular” nation by the 42^nd amendment of the Indian constitution.

Some Political and Social Perspective From Far Far Away

Last week the Indian Prime Minister Modi gave 4 hours notice, late in the evening, that he was demonetizing the most used currency in the country, 1000 and 500 rupee notes. This meant these notes would be accepted for 4 more hours, then would be worthless, just paper. Then he closed the banks for a day and the ATMs for 2 days.  This is a little like having no currency higher than a $5 bill in the US, but then make it so hardly anyplace anywhere takes credit cards, and most things cost at least 100 rupees.

Since then, the banks and ATMs have run out of money-there are not enough 100, 50, 20, or 10 rupee notes in circulation. They say they keep replenishing the banks and some ATMs, but it's now hard enough to get cash that police presence is required at banks to keep violence at bay. The newspaper says 500,000 people have been able to get money from the bank.  500,000 out of a population of 1.3 billion.

India runs largely on a cash economy.  Probably 95% of the poor, lower and lower middle classes’ spending and earning is in cash.  For the middle, upper and wealthiest classes, probably 70% of their spending is in cash, often more.  So think about this, and then take away the cash.  The fruit and vegetable vendors, the street markets, the street food, the small local shops that line the streets everywhere, they work on cash.  If they’re not getting cash from people buying their wares, how can they spend?  It’s a very hard situation, one that will hurt the poor far more than the wealthy.  As a "wealthy" expat, I am OK because I can shop at the few shops that accept credit cards, including some expat grocery stores. I have to spend 3-20 times what I would buying from local vendors with cash, but I can do it.  It’s an option for me.

I currently have 2000 rupees in spendable cash. This is about $28. So today we'd like to go out, but we don't have a driver on Sundays so we have to take an Uber or taxi. Cash only. Chris has to go to the airport to travel today, another Uber or taxi. Cash only.  If we go out to the brunch we were invited to, we're probably are down to 1100 rupees. I feel like I have to make my 2000 last until we can get money, but I don't think it will. And here is why.

I have a new driver, Sushil. He's young and speaks English pretty well, and he is lovely. He is kind and so clearly a good person.  He is all alone here in Pune.  His family lives in his village where they are sugarcane and wheat farmers.  His two older siblings are married and live far away.  If we paid him, we could offer him an advance.  But we don't pay him, he is paid through the car company. And this week, while he has money in the bank and had his last paycheck from the Marriott, he had no money for food. He wanted me to give him food, not money. But I didn't have his kind of food, so finally he was willing to take 200 rupees on loan for food (he wouldn't take it if it wasn't a loan). But that won't last him long. So last night we had our housekeeper, Dinesh, make extra food so we could send food home with him. But I feel responsible for him, and may have to give him more of my last cash to take care of him. I need to do this.

Then there is Dinesh. He is our new housekeeper. He is lovely and married with two kids, one of whom Gracie plays with every day. We do pay him. And if things don’t clear up soon, we won't have the money to pay him. Luckily, he's not due to be paid until the first. I need to be sure his needs are being met.

Then there is Balu, our wonderful caretaker, who lives in a tiny house (a room) behind our garage.  He has a wife and baby.  So far he has assured me that all the people he buys food from have said, "You pay me later." But if this takes weeks, will they be able to keep saying that? And if it continues for weeks, how will we pay him? I need to be sure his needs are met.

Keep in mind when you read this, that here in India we need money for clean water. Everyone does.  The municiple water, that is available for a couple hours a day for most people, is not clean.  You cannot drink it without risking serious illness or death.  So everyone has to buy water.  And most of those places where you get drinking water take only cash.  So no matter how you look at it, if you have no cash, you have no clean water.  Imagine the possibility of 1.3 billion people struggling to get water to drink.

Yesterday, Sushil waited in line to deposit his check and get cash from 9 am to 4 pm.  And when he finally got forward in the line, they would not take his check for cash.  So he waited all day to get money and came away empty handed.  Balu happened to see him in line, and saw his despair.  Balu had been able to get 2000 rupees in cash, also waiting all day, and he gave Sushil 1000.  2000 rupees is about 1/6^th of Balu’s monthly salary-and he happily gave half of it to a man he has known for 4 days.  This is kindness.  This is trust.  This is what we should all strive for. 

So my US friends, no matter who you voted for, it could be so much worse. The amazing thing here is we have 1.3 billion people with no access to money, and, for the most part, kindness is ruling, everywhere.

A Walk Around Koreagon Park, Pune, Maharashtra, India

A beautiful beggar woman and her child.  She agreed to allow me to take a photo and I gave her some rupees.

The boy was fascinated by me.

I'm Sad You Voted for Trump, But I Don't Hate You

Some glorious diversity

I’m Sad You Voted for Trump, But I Don’t Hate You. 

I’ve had some discussions today, via Facebook, that have been getting pretty angry, with people I know who voted for Donald Trump.  When I say I’m so sad by the results, that I can’t believe such a hateful man, a man who did say racist, misogynistic, violent things during his campaign, they think I’m calling them racist or misogynistic or violent.  Well, I’m not.  I am saying I am very sad that they could support someone who is.  I’m finding it very hard to separate those things.  I saw a blog post today that stated very well what I am feeling.  But he left some things out.  He doesn’t question the good people who voted for Trump.  I know they’re out there.  Good people, hard working people trying to raise their children in a complicated world.  Generous people.  Loving people.  But the one they chose was not any of these things.  I have to hope most votes for Trump were actually votes against H.R. Clinton.  But I guess I cannot understand what about her was SO MUCH worse than him.

http://johnpavlovitz.com/2016/11/09/heres-why-we-grieve-today/

Maybe he didn’t know anyone who voted for Trump.  I do.  And I love some of them.  And I know them to be good people.  I know them to be loving people who just want a better place to live, a better way to live.  They want to feel like their voices are heard, that their votes count.  We all need that.  I believe they come from a place of goodness in their hearts, but also a place of desperation.  I try to believe that they do not hate.  I try to believe that they are not racist or sexist, that they truly care about women’s rights and freedom of religion, the disabled and the disenfranchised.  I know many of them feel disenfranchised.  I know some of them don’t support gay marriage, but that’s mostly another talk all together.  I am trying to understand.  I want to understand.

This is what I can’t understand.  I cannot support a man who admitted he grabs women’s crotches without permission.  (As a woman who has had that done to her, I can say that it a violent act.  It leaves scars.  Long lasting scars.)  That these good people thought this was OK for our President to do and to brag about, at least enough to vote for him, makes me sad.  Is a woman’s right to protect her own body, to not be assaulted, less important than showing to current government that you dislike them?

I cannot support a man who used rude gestures and language to mock the disabled.  That they believe this behavior is acceptable for our President, at least enough to vote for him, makes me sad.  Is my son’s (and millions of others) right to not be bullied less important than you feeling disefranchised, unheard and cheated?

I cannot support a man who can say this, ““I think the guy is lazy,” Trump said of a black employee “And it’s probably not his fault because laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything they can control.”  That they thought these beliefs were OK for our President, enough to vote for him, makes me sad. 

I cannot support a man who calls Mexican immigrants “rapists” and “criminals.” That others can makes me sad. 

I cannot support a man who says, ““You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.”  That others can support this makes me sad. 

I cannot support someone who calls for “total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States.”  That others believe it is OK for the US President to ban every person of a faith from the US makes me sad (and scared). 

I cannot support a man who said, “I have black guys counting my money.  I hate it. The only guys I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes all day.”  How can they vote for him if they don’t believe this?  How can they vote for him if they are insulted by this?  This makes me sad.

I don’t understand how they can support someone who said, in an interview with the New York magazine, when speaking about how you handle women, “you have to treat ‘em like shit.”  The interviewer responded, “you’d make a great Mafioso” to which Trump replied, “the best!”  You want your President to be someone who thinks women should be treated like shit and thinks he’d be a great Mafioso?  This makes me sad, and scared.

But I still believe in these people, these cousins and friends.  I cannot believe they believe all these horrible things he has said.  I cannot believe they think it is right to treat people so horrifically.  So I am asking, please explain it to me.  Maybe, if you explain your reasons for voting for D. Trump, I will understand.  I want to continue to believe that you are good people.  But I don’t think good people are racist and sexist and want to mock the disabled or ban entire religions from our country.  The Trump supporters I know are smart people, not uneducated or ignorant.  So please explain to me how they could vote for this man who said and truly seems to believe such horrific things. 

I know you’re losing your faith in me because you see me judging you for your vote.  I know some have unfriended me on Facebook because I have expressed my utter dismay over the chosen POTUS.  But I don’t want to lose friends over politics.  I don’t want to stop loving people because I disagree with them.  I think I’ve explained above why I didn’t vote for Trump.  I think you must be judging me for voting against your desires.  I guess I am judging you, because I could not do what you did.  But I am trying not to.  You  had your reasons.  I hope they must have been good ones that I am too blind, or maybe even too privileged, to see.  But I have a big heart and an open mind and I really, truly want to understand.  Then I will be able to say, “OK, I get it.  Thank you, my friend.”

Mosquito Nets

No matter how hard or how great my day is, I always finish it by checking in on my children.  With the new house and all the changes, they all fall asleep with lamps lit and doors open.  When I’m heading to bed, I go into each room, turn off the lamps, kiss the children, whisper, “I love everything about you” again into each child’s ear, then close the doors.  Often I just stand and gaze at the miracle and beauty that is my children.  It still awes me.  They all still sleep the deep sleep of babies, and so I am able to stroke a cheek, caress a hand, tuck a wisp of hair behind an ear.

Here in India the children sleep under mosquito nets.  Somehow it makes them seem both more vulnerable and more protected.  In both ways it is beautiful.