I'm Sad You Voted for Trump, But I Don't Hate You

Some glorious diversity

I’m Sad You Voted for Trump, But I Don’t Hate You. 

I’ve had some discussions today, via Facebook, that have been getting pretty angry, with people I know who voted for Donald Trump.  When I say I’m so sad by the results, that I can’t believe such a hateful man, a man who did say racist, misogynistic, violent things during his campaign, they think I’m calling them racist or misogynistic or violent.  Well, I’m not.  I am saying I am very sad that they could support someone who is.  I’m finding it very hard to separate those things.  I saw a blog post today that stated very well what I am feeling.  But he left some things out.  He doesn’t question the good people who voted for Trump.  I know they’re out there.  Good people, hard working people trying to raise their children in a complicated world.  Generous people.  Loving people.  But the one they chose was not any of these things.  I have to hope most votes for Trump were actually votes against H.R. Clinton.  But I guess I cannot understand what about her was SO MUCH worse than him.

http://johnpavlovitz.com/2016/11/09/heres-why-we-grieve-today/

Maybe he didn’t know anyone who voted for Trump.  I do.  And I love some of them.  And I know them to be good people.  I know them to be loving people who just want a better place to live, a better way to live.  They want to feel like their voices are heard, that their votes count.  We all need that.  I believe they come from a place of goodness in their hearts, but also a place of desperation.  I try to believe that they do not hate.  I try to believe that they are not racist or sexist, that they truly care about women’s rights and freedom of religion, the disabled and the disenfranchised.  I know many of them feel disenfranchised.  I know some of them don’t support gay marriage, but that’s mostly another talk all together.  I am trying to understand.  I want to understand.

This is what I can’t understand.  I cannot support a man who admitted he grabs women’s crotches without permission.  (As a woman who has had that done to her, I can say that it a violent act.  It leaves scars.  Long lasting scars.)  That these good people thought this was OK for our President to do and to brag about, at least enough to vote for him, makes me sad.  Is a woman’s right to protect her own body, to not be assaulted, less important than showing to current government that you dislike them?

I cannot support a man who used rude gestures and language to mock the disabled.  That they believe this behavior is acceptable for our President, at least enough to vote for him, makes me sad.  Is my son’s (and millions of others) right to not be bullied less important than you feeling disefranchised, unheard and cheated?

I cannot support a man who can say this, ““I think the guy is lazy,” Trump said of a black employee “And it’s probably not his fault because laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything they can control.”  That they thought these beliefs were OK for our President, enough to vote for him, makes me sad. 

I cannot support a man who calls Mexican immigrants “rapists” and “criminals.” That others can makes me sad. 

I cannot support a man who says, ““You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.”  That others can support this makes me sad. 

I cannot support someone who calls for “total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States.”  That others believe it is OK for the US President to ban every person of a faith from the US makes me sad (and scared). 

I cannot support a man who said, “I have black guys counting my money.  I hate it. The only guys I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes all day.”  How can they vote for him if they don’t believe this?  How can they vote for him if they are insulted by this?  This makes me sad.

I don’t understand how they can support someone who said, in an interview with the New York magazine, when speaking about how you handle women, “you have to treat ‘em like shit.”  The interviewer responded, “you’d make a great Mafioso” to which Trump replied, “the best!”  You want your President to be someone who thinks women should be treated like shit and thinks he’d be a great Mafioso?  This makes me sad, and scared.

But I still believe in these people, these cousins and friends.  I cannot believe they believe all these horrible things he has said.  I cannot believe they think it is right to treat people so horrifically.  So I am asking, please explain it to me.  Maybe, if you explain your reasons for voting for D. Trump, I will understand.  I want to continue to believe that you are good people.  But I don’t think good people are racist and sexist and want to mock the disabled or ban entire religions from our country.  The Trump supporters I know are smart people, not uneducated or ignorant.  So please explain to me how they could vote for this man who said and truly seems to believe such horrific things. 

I know you’re losing your faith in me because you see me judging you for your vote.  I know some have unfriended me on Facebook because I have expressed my utter dismay over the chosen POTUS.  But I don’t want to lose friends over politics.  I don’t want to stop loving people because I disagree with them.  I think I’ve explained above why I didn’t vote for Trump.  I think you must be judging me for voting against your desires.  I guess I am judging you, because I could not do what you did.  But I am trying not to.  You  had your reasons.  I hope they must have been good ones that I am too blind, or maybe even too privileged, to see.  But I have a big heart and an open mind and I really, truly want to understand.  Then I will be able to say, “OK, I get it.  Thank you, my friend.”